Where Do Good Ideas Come From?

This week the essential question for reading was "where do good ideas come from?" Yesterday, my class had a really great conversation where we brainstormed and listed different places good ideas, using background knowledge and what we had seen in the different stories we read throughout the week. Here's the poster with the different ideas we came up with (nothing pretty, I'm still learning how to become a pinterest teacher with pretty and color anchor charts. ;))

I would just like to point out that my kids came up with that good ideas can come from mistakes or bad ideas, not me. Makes my teacher heart proud to see them showing a growth mindset as we've been talking about that a lot! 

So today, to wrap up our week about good ideas,  I showed my kids Caine's Arcade. If you haven't seen this video, I encourage you to watch it. I learned about it from one of my coworkers at summer school, and we had our 40 summer school students work in groups to build their own arcade games-it was super cool! I had forgotten about it until one of the other fourth grade teachers asked if I had heard about it and mentioned that she would try to connect it to our current reading unit somehow. Anyways, I especially love the video because Caine was 9 years old at the time, the same age as my students, so they can relate and know that they are capable of doing the same thing. After watching the video, I had my students "create something new" out of various supplies, but I had a limited amount. They had to use their materials wisely and problem solve if we ran out of something they wanted. They only had about 35-40 minutes to plan and build, and it was amazing what they came up with! I saw a couple arcade games inspired by Caine, beach houses, and much more!

 


These are just a few examples of what students made. It was amazing to hear and see students working together and problem solve when they didn't have something they wanted or someone else was using the stapler/all the scissors/tape dispensers.
I tried this out sort of as a trial run-I wasn't sure how it was going to go. It was a success, and I told the other fourth grade teachers more about what I had done and how it went. Next week as a science/engineering activity, all fourth grade will (hopefully) be working on creating arcades in their classrooms. We'll see how it goes-I'm excited for it!


And one sweet (but completely unrelated) story that I just have to share. Yesterday, I tried out a new management tool to crack down on some of the behavior that's been going on. I had a student get mad at me because he was going to have to stay inside at recess. Right before heading to lunch, he ran out of the room yelling "I hate you and I don't want to listen to you". We ended up having a great conversation during recess-he had run out of the room because he was going to cry and didn't want kids to see him cry cause he's embarrassed about being an easy crier. If you know anything about me, you know that immediately my heart softened towards the kid, as I too was an easy crier as a kid (and still am!) I talked with him about how I cried more days than not when I was in fourth grade, and that I could relate to kids teasing and making fun of me for it. I told him that I'm still an easy crier-but I've learned that it's because I have a huge heart and I care deeply about things, which is something good, but I've also learned how to hold back the tears when I need to.
After lunch, we had a class conversation about "who has been a friend to you this week?" My class had had a hard week and were being very negative towards each other, so I wanted to focus on the positive. After a couple kids shared, the boy who had stayed in for recess (who was still red faced and holding back tears), raised his hand and said "Miss Gibson has been a friend because she cheers me up when I feel sad." After a really difficult week, and having that student yell that he hated me only an hour beforehand, it was exactly what I needed to hear. And now that student and I have a connection that we wouldn't have had if he had been able to go out to recess! Just a sweet moment that I wanted to share :)

Thoughts. (From a First-Week Teacher)

It's amazing how quickly 14 dear children can worm their way into my heart. It's incredible how when I stepped into my classroom for the first time, I found a piece of me I didn't know was missing.

And that's what I'm focusing on: how much I love these students of mine, how teaching is engrained into my very being, no matter how difficult it is to jump into a classroom 3/4 through the school year, with student teaching my only experience to rely on.

I know I can be a good teacher.

That's what gets me through helping 14 children transition from one teacher they knew and loved to a new teacher that suddenly came into their lives one day, a teacher they aren't sure about.

I know I've grown.

Three years ago, I wasn't so sure anymore if I wanted to be a teacher after a lifetime of being certain.
(And now I can't imagine doing anything else.)
Two years ago, I had recently decided to switch to elementary education, and was preparing for a summer of counseling kids to see if I really did like kids.
(And now I wonder how I ever could've doubted that.)
A year ago, I had just returned to the classroom full time for the remainder of my method's practicum. I was exhausted, teaching two subjects a day, filming for edTPA, and helping a sub run the classroom as my cooperating teacher was gone for her wedding.
(And now I laugh at the thought of being exhausted teaching two hours out of the day.)
6 months ago, I was the midst of full time teaching, rejoicing the fact I had survived 11 days without my cooperating teacher. I felt as if I had "mastered" classroom management, having been able to reign my kids back in after a difficult start to the year.
(And now I know that though I've improved, I will always have more to learn.)

I know I have a community of support surrounding me.

An amazing team teacher who has helped me every step of the way.
Encouraging co-workers that remind me that things do get better and easier.
A roommate who is one step ahead of me and points out that everything I'm telling her is "iconic first time teaching stuff" and that I'm not alone.
Professors and supervisors that rejoice with me and give sage advice.
And most importantly, a God who is greater than my greatest moments, and is there for me in my lowest lows.

Even as I sit here at my kitchen table, using my Saturday morning to email parents and look over writing assignments from the week, I can't help but smile. I'm exhausted, I have a million and one things running through my mind, I have a foot long "to do" list, I'm brainstorming ways to better my teaching and management, I'm planning in my head lessons for next week, I'm thinking about accommodations for students I'm not serving as well as I should be, but I love what I do. I can't imagine anything more life giving or rewarding I could be doing with my life right now. I've used this quote so many times in papers and reflections, but it perfectly fits how I'm feeling right now: "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." Frederick Buechner

Teaching is so incredibly difficult. I didn't choose an easy path-but it's worth it.

Lenten Gratitude

It's been just shy of 2 months since I graduated from Wheaton and moved back home.
In those two months I have:
-Had my first job interview
-Watched the original Star Wars (in order to properly prepare for seeing the new one... twice)
-Moved into the upstairs apartment above my parent's garage and "Lea-fied" it
-Watched 6.5 seasons of House
-Read the entire Harry Potter series (in about 2.5 weeks)
-Watched all of the Harry Potter movies (I kind of went on a Harry Potter binge after Alan Rickman died)
-Knitted three scarves and a computer sleeve
-Started running again-it's a process, since I haven't run regularly in like years, and haven't been physically active at all since my knee injury. But I'm working on it.
-Still not gotten a job

I knew it would be a process finding a job in the middle of the school year. I knew it would be nice to have some time off. I knew that eventually free time would get old. I didn't know how I would respond to it. And unfortunately, I've responded with complaining.

So as Lent approached, I thought about what, if anything, I wanted to give up. And I recalled a conversation I had with my small group last year-that Lent isn't about what we give up, but it's about how we're adding more Jesus into our lives. So this year, I'm keeping a daily gratitude journal during Lent (with the purpose of combatting complaining). This is something I've wanted to do since my RA year thanks to the wisdom of Dan Haase, my RD's husband, and have attempted at times since then, but I hope to actually stick to it this time. Gratitude during Lent seems fitting, as Lent is a time for preparation and reflection, especially on what Christ has done for us on the cross. I can't think of a better way to prepare my heart and soul for Easter than a daily reflection on gratitude. Most of the time I'll just write in my own journal, but occasionally I'll post it on my blog.

For now, I'll close with this Ash Wednesday prayer from the Common Book of Prayer:
Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have
made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and
make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily
lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness,
may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission
and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives
and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever
and ever. Amen.

Looking back on a year of firsts and lasts: 2015

Now that I have joined the ranks of unemployed college graduates, I'm hoping I'll have more time to blog. Although, I don't know how much I'll have to blog about... But anyways. I had the opportunity to observe at my middle school last week, and in a conversation with my 6th grade teacher, she recalled my strength as a writer and asked if I still write as much as I did in 6th grade. I admitted that I really don't write very much anymore, what with the business and craziness that is college. But she reminded me of my love of writing, and that was one of the reasons I started this blog; I missed writing for fun. So here's to a new year with more blog posts.

I'm currently sitting in Woods, my favorite coffee shop that I was sadly deprived of during my 4.5 years in the midwest. It feels a little weird to have the freedom to just sit and chill and write on a Thursday morning-shouldn't I be in class like all my friends back in Wheaton? Or at least working on homework? Or maybe be at work? Thus is the strangeness of graduating as an education major in December. Teaching jobs are a rarity, and though I'm getting on some sub lists, these things take time. So I'm going to use my free time to reflect on the past year, because 2015 was a big one.

2015 was a year of firsts and lasts. As I thought back on the last year, the lasts come to mind much more quickly than the firsts. Yet, there were a lot of firsts, so I have to use both to describe the past year.

Let's start with the lasts:
-Spring semester 2015 was my last spring in Wheaton, and my last semester with my friends that have been with me since the beginning.
-My last of all the spring semester events
-My last time seeing friends for who knows how long, (thank goodness for weddings and heaven. Mostly heaven, but weddings are nice in the mean time) whether it was in May, August, September, November, or December.
-Last day of student teaching
-Last time going to saga
-Last time going to chapel
-Last time walking around campus
-Last time at HoneyRock
-Last time living with roommates for the foreseeable future
-Last college class
-Last college paper

Some of these were sad, tearful moments, others were celebratory. Lasts are bittersweet as they represent the end of one thing, but they also represent the start of something new.

Now for the firsts:
-First time away from home for a year (I find it so so funny/ironic that I was the only one of my siblings to go a year away from home during college, yet I'm the only one that ended up moving back home and living with Mom and Dad after graduation.)
-First time actually lesson planning. Like where I understood what I was doing and had reasons for planning the way I did, unlike the lessons I prepared for other classes. I found my very first lesson plan from my sophomore year as I was going through stuff on my computer. It was pretty awful.
-First time teaching one of my own lessons to real kids
-First time going by Miss Gibson. It's still weird to me that there are children in the world that only know me as Miss Gibson and have no idea what my first name is (some probably don't even realize I have a first name).
-First serious injury in my adult life (yay for dislocated knee caps!)
-First day of student teaching/first day of school as a teacher
-First time having a classroom to myself
-First time filling out real life job applications. Like jobs that require a college degree.

Like I said, 2015 was a huge year for me. I rediscovered my passion for teaching, gained confidence as a teacher, made new friends only to have to say goodbye to them shortly there after, had my heart stolen by 26 precious 4th graders that I miss so so much, sighed a huge sigh of relief when I turned in my last college paper, and bawled my eyes out as I said goodbye to people and a place that have been so important, influential, and formative to me for the past 4.5 years.

It was hard to let 2015 go as it meant letting go of the familiar and the comfortable. 2016 is a year of unknown, which is absolutely terrifying. But I'm grateful for such a solid year behind me, and am ready to leap into the unknown.

Why do I want to be a teacher?

Throughout the course of student teaching, there's bound to be some days that end with the questions, "Why do I even want to be a teacher? Is all this worth it?" I definitely had some of those days about a month ago when things started getting hard for the first time, after hard feedback, after days and weeks struggling to control my class, after days full of tears.
Yesterday was another one of those days. The kids were so restless and chatty, and complained about the smallest things. Some complained about their stick not being pulled from the cup when I asked for a volunteer to explain a math problem and draw it out on the board, even going as far as to accuse me of throwing away their sticks as they hadn't been pulled the past few times. Some complained about not having a designated snack time (they still got their snack. They just had to eat and work at the same time due to having the book fair in the morning.) Others complained that I hadn't taught the material on a test (maybe I didn't teach it as well as I should've, but it was on the study guide we made in class and was sent home over the weekend so they would have several nights to study.) Others complained about not getting extra outdoor recess (did they deserve extra recess? 100% no.) I had my fill of it, and it's probably the most frustrated I've ever gotten with my students. With the combination of exhaustion (#parentteacherconferences #13hourdays), being sick, frustration with my students, and frustration with myself, I spent much of lunch break in tears, asking myself those questions.

But it is worth it.
The look on a student's face when she finally understands multi-digit multiplication for the first time.
When a student tells me he's always struggled with subtraction, but the way I've explained it helped made it click.
The obvious pride of a student when she tells the class the answer to a science question I had asked her to look up at home the night before.
When a student says "Wow. This is so much fun. I like social studies!" during a simulation.
When a parent tells me at a conference that their son (whom I haven't connected with very much) can't stop talking about me and how much he's going to miss me when I leave.
Conferencing with a student on his writing, and seeing the joy in his eyes and his huge smile when I compliment his great vocabulary.
When my highly disorganized and distracted student comes back after leaving at the end of the day because he remembered that he forgot to copy down the homework and asks if he can borrow my planner so he could copy down the homework.
When it comes up that I only have three weeks left, and a couple students initiate a class-wide group hug.

I want to be a teacher because of these moments. I want to be a teacher to help students realize that they can do it. I want to be a teacher to help students discover their potential. I want to be a teacher because kids make me smile and remind me of the simple joys. I want to be a teacher in order to be an advocate for students. I want to be a teacher to help students discover a love of learning.

Only three weeks left. Only three weeks left. Only three weeks left.

Success

Success is a funny thing. What qualifies as success? What doesn't qualify as success? Is trying your best success? Or is accuracy success? What about those tricky situations where there's no quantifiable measure?
I can measure success as a teacher based on my student's scores, and gain scores from a pretest to a posttest. I can measure success as perseverance-not giving up even when I'm exhausted, when a student asks the same question for the millionth time, when that student misbehaves (again). I can measure it by my lessons-were my students engaged? Do they understand the concept? Did they take ownership of their learning? Did I talk too much? Did they not talk enough?

The list goes on and on. Wheaton students are ambitious and perfectionistic. And although I often don't classify myself as either of those things, I've felt myself floundering this semester because I do have those some of those qualities in me. I haven't defined what success is for me in student teaching-well maybe I did, but if I did, it was something along the lines of "be the best student teacher ever." Not a very achievable goal, right? And I don't think I have ambition...

So this afternoon, I took some time to define success for myself. And yes, I'm gonna brag a little. After 3 really really hard weeks, I want to brag about a really really good one.

So for me, success this week looked a little like this:
Survive 11 school days without cooperating teacher. (check)
Not only survive those days, but thrive in the midst of them by growing in classroom management, confidence as a teacher, and collaboration. (check)
Receive a compliment from the principal (check)  (okay. So it wasn't a flat out compliment, and it wasn't said directly to me. But apparently telling my cooperating teacher on the day of her return "well, I never had to go into your classroom and intervene" is a compliment.)
Teach the best lesson I've ever taught-students engaged and excited, student ownership of learning, inquiry incorporated, building student confidence, student to student discourse (check)
           Bonus point: Best lesson ever observed by supervisor (check)
Be able to let loose and be a little silly with my students without fear of losing them because of the expectations I've set for the class (FINALLY) (check)
Leave school before 4pm, feeling energized and excited to be a teacher (check)
Be 3/4 done with full time teaching (check)
Be 2/3 done with student teaching as a whole (check)

Okay. So obviously I still have a lot to grow in. I always will. I can always incorporate more inquiry. I can always make my lessons more student centered. I can always create a better classroom environment. I can always be more patient with my students. But I have to admit, today (and this week) felt really really good. But the struggle of the past few weeks made the success of today even sweeter. I can see so concretely my growth in the past 4 weeks. And that's success.

Tales of a 4th Grade Teacher

Have you ever heard of/read Judy Blume's book Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing? We read it at the beginning of the year in our daily 4th grade read aloud. Hence the title of this post and my hashtag for posts about student teaching. Laugh at the cleverness of it. Please. Humor like this goes unappreciated by 9 year olds, so lately I've been feeling absolutely un-clever and not funny at all.

It's hard to believe, but I am more than halfway done with student teaching-last week was the halfway point. And today marks the end of (I'm really, really, really, really hoping) my hardest 3 weeks of student teaching. It's felt like a never ending reality check. Something will happen that makes me think, "Woah. I have not been working hard enough. I need to kick it into gear, or else my students are going to suffer the consequences." I try to fix what I was doing wrong, I feel good about it for like a day (if I'm lucky), and then something else will happen, and the cycle repeats itself. I will forever think of these past 3 weeks as the "weeks of daily cries". (My mom and roommate from last year *may* have received a few phone calls from me that consisted of mostly crying throughout the past 3 weeks). First it was classroom management. Then it was unsatisfactory planning. Then it was classroom management (again) (and again). Then it was disorganization. Then it was exhaustion and literally not being able to hold onto my train of thought for more than 3 minutes.

The past 2 weeks have been a whole other realm of difficult (and amazingly growth filled) as my cooperating teacher was gone (and still will be until next Wednesday). I've had an amazing sub with me who has years of teaching and subbing experience, but I was still the lead teacher for the past 2 weeks, and the sub was out of the room for majority of this week, leaving me completely in charge. Even though my teacher's absence lined up nicely with the timing for me to go full time, there has been so many other responsibilities I've had to pick up that I was not expecting. When people (myself included) think of teaching, they often think of planning lessons, teaching those lessons, and grading. It is so so much more. I have be organized, I have to make sure I give enough assessments to fairly know if a student understands a concept or not, I have to be in contact with parents, I have to handle serious student misbehavior, I have to attend meetings, I have to be an advocate for my students in those meetings, I have to collaborate with the other teachers, I have to write weekly newsletters to the parents, I have to prepare Friday Folders to send home... all on top of a couple hours of planning and prep every night. The list goes on and on. I averaged probably 10 hours a day at school these past 2 weeks, with the record being 13. The most sobering part of that day, was driving home, and realizing that I would be back at school in less hours than the amount I had spent at school that day.
Don't get me wrong. I love this. It is so extremely hard, and it makes me doubt whether I am really meant to be a teacher or not, it makes me cry out of frustration and feeling overwhelmed, but I still love it. Though my kids sometimes frustrate me to tears, I still love them and they make it so incredibly worth it.

The past three weeks, I've experienced disrespect (to me and to other students), tears (my own and students'... some out of joy, some out of frustration), hard conversations, great conversations, a kid hiding under a desk in fetal position, fights on the playground, fights in the classroom, a lesson interrupted by a student walking up to me as I was teaching to ask me a question (yes. I'm serious. I was doing whole class lesson, and was in the middle of it-he gets up out of his seat, and asks me what he should with an assignment I had collected a half hour before. As I was in the middle of teaching a lesson to the whole class. I cannot understand what was going on in his head.)
But I have learned so much from these kids and because of these kids. I am a better teacher and a better person because of these past 3 weeks, and I will continue to grow in my last 5 of student teaching. I will forever remember these students as my first students. I'll remember the student that tells me the most random and interesting facts (I've lost track of the amount of times I've heard "Miss Gibson. Did you know....?), the student who gives me fashion advice, the student who keeps me up to date with the latest 4th grade drama, the student who gives me at least 2 hugs a day, the student who thanked me for helping her finally understand subtraction, the student who has the most amazing scientific knowledge for a 4th grader (there's things he knows that I don't remember ever learning). Though it's been the most difficult 7 weeks of my life thus far, I cherish this time, and I am so glad for these crazy tales of a 4th grade teacher.