It’s official. Fall semester 2013 is over. I’m in the
airport waiting for my flight back to Seattle right now (although by the time
this is posted, I’ll be home since O’Hare is lame and doesn’t have free Wifi…
but I have an hour until I board, so it’s blogging time.) I can’t believe that
first semester is already over. Time really does fly. But anyways, the point of
the post is to reflect on the past 4 ½ months since I arrived back on campus to
start my year as an RA, more specifically the last quad since I did a
mid-semester reflection over fall break. I really liked what I did last time,
so I’m going to do the same thing and highlight some of my favorite moments of
B quad.
-Bro-sis Halloween dinner. Though Halloween was on a
Thursday this year, T4/3S still dressed up for our weekly Wednesday night
dinner. I found a onesie at the co-op (pretty much a thrift store, but better
because it’s free for Wheaton students), and dragged my teddy bear along to be
a little kid. And I was a pretty adorable little kid, if I do say so myself.
-Octemberfest. For you non-Wheaties, Octember fest is an
event my dorm throws every year in the end of Octember/beginning of November,
hence Octemberfest. It’s a big deal. Each floor has a theme, typically with
some sort of adventure/goal for people that come to accomplish. In the past,
this event has been much more focused on Traber (the boy side, once again for
you non-Wheaties), but this year, Smith stepped up its game. 3S and 3E combined
to do “Grimm Misadventures”, in which people had to navigate their way through
the enchanted forest, accomplishing various tasks to collect cursed items the
evil queen left behind, defeat her, and bring back all the fairytales’ happy
endings. There was almost always a line waiting to get onto the floor, which
was pretty much unheard of before this year. 2S and 2E also combined to do Hunger
Games and did a wonderful job as well (or so I heard… I was on 3S all night as
Rapunzel.) This night was a wonderful time, but even better was preparing
before hand because I got to know some wonderful 3E people I probably wouldn’t
have met otherwise. #topfloorbestfloor
-Ben came out to visit. He was in his college roommate’s
wedding, which was only an hour away from Wheaton, so I got to spend a Saturday
afternoon/night and Sunday morning with him, which was much needed after a
crazy semester.
-JASIE CAME BACK. Jasie, my RA last year, came back from
student teaching abroad in Senegal. I got to see her for the first time in 6
months, which was amazing. That girl is great, and if you don’t know her, you
should.
-Amanda’s directing debut, aka Jukebox’s production of
Curious Savage. I’ve really missed theater, so it was such a joy to see the show,
especially since I knew several of the people in the cast… and my suitemate was
the director ;)
-Weekly OUAT nights with Grace, Stine, Amanda, and whoever
else decides to come. Since I caught up on Once Upon a Time during fall break,
I was able to join in the weekly party on Sunday nights at Grace’s apartment.
Fun times hanging out with friends and gushing over Hook.
-Thanksgiving break. I was on duty, so I stayed in Wheaton,
but it was a ton of fun. Between a movie night with two of the girls that stayed,
seeing Catching Fire, hanging out with the other on duty staff, Thanksgiving at
the Smiths, and decorating the floor lounge for Christmas, it was a great
break. Oh, I also bought the new Zelda game and beat it… Did I spend too much
time playing it? Probably. Am I embarrassed that I beat it in less than a week?
A little bit. Do I regret it? Not at all.
-WICKED IN CHICAGO. Words cannot describe, so I won’t even
try.
-Just being on 3South in general. I love those girls so
much, and they never fail to make my life interesting between late night talks,
McDonalds runs, and bursting into my room unannounced (cough cough GWEN cough cough). I’ve started developing such great friendships with the girls on the
floor, and I am so excited to see them again in January and continue building
those relationships J
-And last of all, that feeling when I turned in my
psychology final and I was officially done… and then had to stick around
another 2 days for RA stuff.
As I reflect back on this semester as a whole, the amount of
growth that has occurred strikes me. I really don’t feel like that different of
a person than I was 4 ½ months ago, but I definitely am. I have learned so
much, most of them the hard way… but my theory is that you really take it to
heart with you learn lessons the hard way, so although it sucks, it’s worth it
in the end. There’s been numerous lessons that I’ve learned, but if I had to
sum them all up into one it would be this: God is sovereign God that loves me,
and that’s all that matters. A quad was learning to let go of my expectations
and let God do his work through me, because his plan is so much better than
mine, and he knows what he’s doing although it doesn’t always feel like it. Although
I would like to say that I’ve mastered this, I definitely haven’t. But I’m
learning. This quad, there’s been so many moments of (read this in a whiney 5
year old voice) “But God…. I don’t WANT it to happen this way. I want it to
happen MY way” and God gently reminding me that he has a plan for me, and I reluctantly
let go (most of the time…I’m still working on it). This quad has been about
finding confidence, strength, and value in Christ alone. I’ve just started to
grasp how amazing God’s love for me is. I don’t think I’ll even completely
understand it; it’s mind blowing how much he loves us, but I’m just starting to
uncover what exactly that means. “I pray that out of his glorious, unlimited
resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then
Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will
grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to
understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how
deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great
to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of
life and power that comes from God” (Ephesians 3:16-20). This was the longest
verse RAs had to memorize this semester, but by far, it’s my favorite. “May you
experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to fully understand”.
That’s gold right there. Learning this lesson has not been an easy one. Like so
many others, I’ve given into the temptation of comparison. These comparisons
cover a whole range of topics from RA to friends to boys to classes to
gifts/talents to faith. It even got to the point where I couldn’t handle going
on Facebook because I had only 13 likes on my profile picture while many of my
friends had 50+, many even 100+. So I deactivated my Facebook for a couple
weeks. I mean, how stupid is that? My value does not depend on how many likes
my profile picture gets, how many people comment on my status, or how many
followers I have on instagram. But sometimes, it honestly feels like my value
rests on those things, or what people think of me. “Your roots will grow down
into God’s love and keep you strong.” THAT’S what keeps me strong. God’s love.
Not my reputation online, or even on campus. Why is that so hard to understand?
It’s so easy to say, so hard to believe. So that’s what I’ve been learning this
quad, and probably will for the rest of my life. That God loves me, and that’s
all that matters. When I rest in God’s love, I will be strong, and everything
else will be so much easier than when I try to do it on my own, working for the
approval of man. This has not been an easy lesson to learn, but I’m glad I’m
learning it now. God has slowly been breaking down the strongholds in my life
that have kept me from fully resting in him. It hasn’t been easy, and I sure
haven’t enjoyed it, but I am thankful for it.
Lastly, I just want to point out the irony in that all
semester, I’ve struggled to write papers, even short 3 page ones. But just now,
I easily cranked out 4 pages. I truly am an external processer. Hah.
Merry Christmas everyone, and fellow college students, have
a great break!
